When you are the mother of a newborn, especially if it’s your first, you’ll encounter feelings you didn’t expect at all. Sure, you love your little one. And he or she can be a big source of happiness. But more often than not, she’ll rob you of your good nights sleep.
And things can get irritating. Sometimes a baby is hungry, and you give her the breast, but she still rejects is, shouts and screams, pushing with her little hands against it, but as soon as she gets it in her mouth sucking eagerly, and then again pushing away. How to make sense of this? Why does she have to make things so complicated? Then she falls asleep on your breast, and when you try to lay her down she starts screaming again, so you lift her up to your breast, and again… she falls asleep, maybe even without sucking. But you can’t sleep well like that.
After a certain amount of sleepless nights, you might be on a short fuse. And you might feel impatient or even upset with your newborn baby.
Sure, on some level you do understand – she’s new in this world, everything for her is new, she don’t know how to communicate her needs in any other way than screaming, crying, making faces. And you probably don’t know yet how to really make sense of it all.
Plus, sometimes you’ll be worried about something you observe. ‘Is my baby allright?’ This is one of the most common thoughts that plagues many new parents.
But how do you deal with emotions when you don’t feel the way you are supposed to feel, or want to feel?
At some times you might feel a kind of resentment towards your baby.
And then your partner might offer “well-meant” advice, or even lecture you reproachful. This can make things even more difficult.
Very few mothers ever admit these feelings to themselves or others, trying to maintain that picture-perfect mask which they they they are supposed to wear. After all, moms on TV don’t feel that way, right?
The truth is, if you have any negative feelings towards your newborn baby, it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad mother, a bad person, a cold-hearted mom or anything like that. It simply means one thing: you feel overwhelmed and exhausted.
And what you need is to take care of yourself, recharge your own batteries and nurture your emotional well-being – empower yourself to be the good caretaker that your little one deserves.
There is no one simple way to make parenting work, and there surely is no one “correct” or “right” way of doing it.
Taking some off-time for yourself, and allowing yourself to gain new perspectives and establish new ways of thinking about your role as a parent, and how your newborn baby affects your life, is just an important part of becoming a new parent as is changing diapers.
Fortunately there is a good selection of hypnosis downloads for new mothers which can help you to develop the skills and attitudes of a healthy, joyful mother easy and fast.