Do you sometimes wish you had better small talk skills?
I’ve been there a thousand times, I was really the awkward kind of guy in social situations.
If you’d talk with me, it would pretty much wipe my brain blank and I simply didn’t know what to say.
But I learned how to make small talk and keep a conversation flowing, and on this website, I’m going to tell you how I did it, step by step.
Now for me, whenever I learn something, there is one question I ask:
what’s the most important thing I should do if I want to learn this?
And in the case of small talk, for me what worked best were engaging in micro-conversations.
A micro-conversation is basically just a very short, insignificant and meaningless interaction you have with random strangers.
You don’t actually want the conversation you go somewhere, you’re not doing this to make new friends or establish potential business relationships.
The only reason why you’re engaging in these micro-conversations is because it trains you to be relaxed and at ease when talking to people.
Because that’s what really gets in the way of you enjoying small talk with others.
It’s simply that, up until now, when you used to talk to people the part of your brain that is in charge of fears lit up and made you anxious, and when you’re anxious about social situations, you simply won’t be good with people.
Well, you just do it. If you can’t think of anything better, just use one of these micro-conversation starters:
- “Excuse me, what time is it?”
- “How can I get to Oak Avenue?”
- “Don’t you just love waiting?” (When standing in line somewhere with other people)
- “I noticed you have a really cool ______ (shirt, bag, bracelet, etc…). Where did you buy that?”
You should do around 10 micro-conversations like this a day. Although the more the better.
Important: these should be 10 extra micro-conversations a day. So don’t count the ones you’re already used to. Keep in mind, the purpose of this is to train you to become comfortable engaging in small talk in new situations.
When you feel confident, calm and at ease in social situations your small talk skills will naturally develop.
I also used self hypnosis for better small talk, and that really made a big difference.
You see, the purpose of the micro-conversations is simply to change the way you feel about small talk. And this is what hypnosis does: it changes the way you think and feel about small talk.
Right now, your brain may think of small talk as a threatening task that can make you feel anxious, and that’s unpleasant for you.
Using hypnotic suggestions you could reprogram your brain to think of small talk as an interesting and fun experience that could be the start of new relationships and a great way of making new friends.
It’s best to listen to this download daily, or at least 2 times a week for the first three or so weeks, but you can listen to them whenever you like. Just make sure that you’re focused and not distracted while listening to them, hypnosis works best when you’re free from distractions and deeply engaged.