Bullies may use many methods to bully you. They can intimidate you physically, they can gossip you and spread rumors to destroy your reputation and engage in indirect bullying, but ultimately bullying is about manipulating your emotions, it’s about making you feel terrible.
Bullying should always be taken serious – while some people think it’s just a harmless joke, there are plenty of cases where people committed suicide (like Tyler Long) or murder ((as the case of Michael “half-moon”)) . In this article you learn strategies for dealing with harassment, different bullying solutions and what you can do to stop being bullied.
A bully has many tools at his disposal. Verbal abuse and social bullying go hand in hand by trying to belittle and isolate you. Bullies often have an unrealistically inflated sense of self-esteem and ridicule others.
Why do people bully others?
Because by dominating others they can enhance their social status. They also “chose their victims so as to minimize loss of affection by choosing victims who were not likely to be defended by significant others” ((René Veenstra, Siegwart Lindenberg, Anke Munniksma, Jan Kornelis Dijkstra. The Complex Relation Between Bullying, Victimization, Acceptance, and Rejection: Giving Special Attention to Status, Affection, and Sex Differences. Child Development, 2010; 81 (2): 480 DOI: 10.1111/j.1467-8624.2009.01411.x)).
Effects of Bullying
How bullying affects people depends upon where it takes place. Adult bullying in the workplace can lead people to lose motivation to work and quit their jobs ((M. Houshmand, J. O’Reilly, S. Robinson, A. Wolff. Escaping bullying: The simultaneous impact of individual and unit-level bullying on turnover intentions. Human Relations, 2012; 65 (7): 901 DOI: 10.1177/0018726712445100)).
Bullying in schools can lead to lower scores on standardized tests ((“The Impact of Bullying Climate on Schoolwide Academic Performance,” Anna Lacey and Dewey Cornell, PhD, Curry School of Education, University of Virginia)).
How To Respond To Bullying
A new study ((Karen D. Rudolph, Jamie L. Abaied, Megan Flynn, Niwako Sugimura and Anna Monica Agoston. Developing Relationships, Being Cool, and Not Looking Like a Loser: Social Goal Orientation Predicts Children’s Responses to Peer Aggression. Child Development, 29 AUG 2011 DOI: 10.1111/j.1467-8624.2011.01631.x)) has shown that there are basically three ways or responding to harassment:
If a person tries to bully you, you can try to cooperate and reduce conflict by trying to get on friendlier terms, either directly with the bully or with the bullies associates. You could also involve other people to try to help reduce the conflict.
If a person tries to bully you, you can try to bully the “bully the bully”. Retaliation and stepping up to a bully can sometimes work, but it can also often backfire and escalate a problem.
If a person tries to bully you, you can try to ignore the bullying attempts. However, there is also a high risk that it encourages the bully to escalate his or her maneuvers to a point where ignoring the problem is no longer an option.
All of these three solutions to bullying can be viable, and it’s good if you have the flexibility to switch from one to the other depending upon situational circumstances. If you always respond to bullying in the same way, your reactions will become predictable and a clever bully can use that against you.
But no matter in which strategy you choose to stop being bullied, the most important part is that you do not let your own emotions get in the way. That doesn’t mean you should try to suppress them. But instead you shouldn’t let the bully wield power over you by responding to his attacks.
Hypnosis can help you to remain calm and emotionally detached from the situation when a bully attacks you. You will be able to make smarter decisions and handle the situation in a much smoother and efficient way than if you get emotionally worked up about it.
Instead of getting hot-headed, you can keep your cool.
And once a bully recognizes that he or she has no emotional power over you, you will stop being bullied by him or her.
Famous people who had to deal with bullying:
- Bruce Lee
Coming from Hongkong to the United States and being different from the other kids – in his childhood and youth he was often bullied.