Micromanaging is a way to make sure that things work out well. It’s something that can help you to be in control and feel safe. And if you have responsibility for other people, it’s a way of trying to make sure that they do what’s best for them.
The urge to help people to avoid making certain mistakes is a good and noble thing. You might just want to help them to do things more efficiently, and in fact see yourself as teaching or tutoring others. Sharing expertise and knowledge with others so that they can perform better is a good thing. However, micromanagement is when you do too much of a good thing, and it is not a simple thing to stop – because it’s something that you often do “on autopilot” and that’s part of you might think defines you character. That’s why hypnosis can be helpful, because it allows you to “switch off” unwanted behaviors.
It’s understandable that you want to check up on others. Inf act, there are many benefits to micromanaging.
However, it comes with a heavy price. One thing is: it puts yourself under a lot of psychological stress and can wear you down. Many people who micromanage excessively sooner or later suffer from exhaustion and low energy levels, sometimes till they reach a burn-out-point.
But micromanagement problems aren’t simply related to yourself. They can also damage your relationships with others. Because most people do not like to be constantly controlled, checked upon and told what to do, how to do it and when to do it. Most people want to have some kind of freedom and say in what they do, and they need to feel a sense of achievement and involvement in what it is they are doing.
In fact, dealing with micromanagement can be quiet challenging for them. Not only that people don’t like to be patronized, but it may very well cause them to loose motivation to work hard, stifle their creativity and might even make them, on a subtle level, rebellious against your advice and control.
If you wonder whether you actually are micromanaging excessively, here are a couple of indicators that might prove to be valuable benchmarks in your assessment.
If you show “bossy” behavior and tend to order people around, tell them what to do and are always quick to point out mistakes, even in trivial things, that is one sign. Also, if you tend to be offended or upset or angry when people do not follow your suggestions, that’s another sign.
Do you often feel or think that others are incapable of performing a certain task?
Do people sometimes tell you that you are pushy?
Also, if people want to gather more information by talking to others or looking at different sources of information, do you give them the freedom to do so, or do you cut off their attempts because “it is not necessary, just do it this way” (since you already know what’s best).
Also ask yourself: do I often make recommendations and give advice to other people even if they’ve never asked me to do so?
How Not To Micromanage
The first step is actually recognizing and accepting the fact that you might be a “control freak”. That’s a harsh word, but getting a vivid picture in your mind of what the problem is will help you to solve it.
And actually, if you want to stop to micromanage, then that doesn’t mean that you have to let go of all control, but rather that you have to change what you control. Instead of trying to control others all the time – control your own emotional state. Control what’s going on in your mind.
It is not about becoming weak, but it is about being able to recognize: how much should I influence another persons behavior? How much should I dictate another person’s actions? What is an appropriate amount of guidance that I offer others?
If you can stop to be a control freak, because that is what this really is, then not only will you avoid unnecessary stress, but you will also enjoy better relationships with others – and what’s more: people will even care more about your advice when you give it to them, rather than just following it blindly because they want to avoid confronting you or subconsciously sabotaging the outcome because of a rebellious part of their psychology that you triggered.