Being judgmental really can make you miserable. It leads to a world where there is always a lack of good things, good people, good experiences, good thoughts and good feelings.
Our Inner Judge is often a habitual thought-pattern which we learned early on in our lives, most often during our childhood, as a way to protect ourselves from unpleasant emotions. For example, if someone doesn’t give us the approval or respect we want, we can say: “Well, that person is stupid anyway.” If someone scorns us, we can say: “That person doesn’t know right from wrong, he’s totally unfair!” If we try to become friends with someone and that someone doesn’t respond with sympathy, we can say: “What an arrogant, selfish person!” Judging others is an easy way to avoid unpleasant emotions.
And since it’s something that we use to protect ourselves from being hurt, we start to think of it as something positive, and maybe even start to identify ourselves with it.
In that way, it’s a very tricky beast to master. Because when something seems positive, or even part of our selves, part of our personality, we instinctively do not want to change it or get rid of it. On an emotional level, we feel we need to protect it. So even when we consciously recognize that this certain behavior or habitual thought-pattern does more damage than good to our lives, and we decide to change it, on a subconscious level we will sabotage our conscious efforts to get rid of these thought-patterns.
The classical way of becoming less judgmental is to become consciously aware of when you’re judgmental.
For example, the selfmade billionaire entrepreneur Sir Richard Branson often used to recount how he was taught not to judge others. When he was a young boy and he was critizising someone, his mother used to make him stand in front of a mirror and look at himself and make him say that this applied to himself. This has taught him to look for the good, rather than the bad in others – and it’s one of the pillar-stones of his success.
When you catch yourself judging someone, then simply make a statement to yourself: “Ah, there’s that Judge again. Judging, judging, judging…” Simply by becoming aware of it, you take power away from the judgement you just made, you enfeeble the judgmental remarks you made in your mind. And that helps you to keep an open mind and explore with curiosity, and see reality from a more conductive point of view.
You can even accelerate this process when you utilize your subconscious mind – by using hypnotic suggestions, you can train your subconscious mind to become less judgmental and instead discover more of the positive things in life. The following hypnosis MP3 download to become less judgemental is ideal for this purpose – you can listen to it whenever you feel like it, and it’s best to listen to it at night before you fall asleep, because then the suggestions will be processed in your dreams.