The worst enimy you can have in life can’t be found in the world around you. Because your worst enemy hides in your own head, and he’s sabotaging you in ways you’ll never know.
Why is this inner enemy so dangerous? Because he knows exactly how you tick, and he knows exactly how to get you off track.
Effects of Self-Sabotage
There are many ways self-sabotage can affect your life. For some people, it’s being stuck in a certain level of “success”, and not being able to really move ahead. This way, even with all the knowledge, all the skills, all the resources and connections, all the right strategies and opportunities, you still remain just this: a failure.
For others it’s in the area of personal relationships: not being able to share yourself with others the way you want to, unable to establish the kinds of relationships with other people you want. There are some people who are really good at making casual acquaintances and friends, but terrible and creating deep, meaningful relationships. And then there are others who might have a couple of deep, meaningful, loving relationships, but they are really bad at basic socializing, which makes it more difficult to make new friends.
Some people always choose the wrong partner – a partner that will do the sabotaging for them. This is self-sabotage by proxy.
Others sabotage themselves by making unhealthy eating choices or never following through on decisions, beginning projects and then abandoning them in midair, never really bringing anything to completion.
There are so many ways self-sabotage behavior can negatively impact your life.
It’s like you’re holding your self back, collecting regrets and grievances which you accumulate in your heart, bitter thoughts you can’t let go of. The longer this goes on, the worse it gets.
That’s why it’s important that you stop self-sabotage as soon as you can. And “as soon as you can” doesn’t mean you have to do it within the first month or first year of engaging in self-destructive behaviors. It means you have to do it now. You have to start tackling this issue now. The longer you put this off, the more you allow self-defeating strategies to interfer with your dreams and ambitions, the more gut- and heartwrenching it will be. Life is a limited opportunity. We can only waste so many days before our time’s up, and you need to get going now if you want to live a fulfilled life.
The cost of self-sabotage is simply too high. You’ll let other people exploit the opportunities which are open to you, you’ll let others have the relationships you want to have – it’s like you’re putting a knive into your own chest and twisting it around.
Reasons For Self-Sabotage
There are many reasons why people sabotage themselves.
There are many reasons why people sabotage themselves:
- Negative Beliefs About Yourself
I’m not good enough. I’m too stupid.
These kinds of thoughts are often a result of early conditioning. Maybe someone you loved or respected at some point in your life told you these words, and you internalized it. Because at that point in your life, rejecting these suggestions would have felt as if you’d reject the person you love or respect, and you didn’t want to lose that person.
- Fear of Failure
But what if I fail? There’s no way I can pull that off. I’ll just mess things up again.
When you never really try and give it everything you got, you never really fail. And thus, you can keep up the facade of never having made a mistake. Others won’t see you failing.
- Fear of Success
I’m a loser. I’ll never amount to anything.
We then build our identities around these, we identify ourselves with these statements – and when they are threatened, it threatens our own sense of identity. If you think you are a loser, and then you’re about to succeed – this can trigger a subconscious defense mechanism.
It’s too much work. It’s not worth the effort. I don’t feel like doing that now.
Sometimes you simply need to stop being lazy.
I can do better than that. I will improve it a little bit before I put it out there. I gotta get this right.
Of course it’s good to strive to do the best work possible – but at some point you just got to say: This is it. This is good enough. Just because something isn’t 100% perfect, it doesn’t mean it’s a complete failure. The biggest suggest stories were imperfect: Microsoft Windows wasn’t perfect when they launched it. The iPhone wasn’t perfect when they launched it. If you wait for something to be perfect, you’ll never get it done, because there will always be options for improvement.
- Pessimistic Prophecies
I’ve tried something like this in the past and failed. This will fail just like the other thing I once tried.
It’s a kind of negative fortune telling – you look into the future of whatever it is you want to achieve, and you envision it failing, based on a past experience where you tried and failed. Fact is: almost all successful people failed before they succeeded. Just just tried again enough times.
It’s often limiting beliefs which we have acquired early in life, beliefs which we’re sometimes not even consciously aware of.
It usually happens subconsciously – nobody really decides to do something, put in a lot of work and makes a conscious decision to sabotage their own efforts.
The part of our mind that we are consciously aware of WANTS success. But some part of your subconscious mind wants something else – and the trouble is that both parts don’t communicate openly with each other.
It’s basically a segregated mind.
- one part of your mind (your conscious mind):
wants success and believes the reasons (or congregated excuses) you use to engage in self-sabotaging behavior (e.g. giving up on something, not trying something, putting obstacles in your own way, etc.)
- another part of your mind (which is subconscious):
knows the real reason why you self-sabotage yourself, but doesn’t tell you and instead misleads your thoughts to conceal the truth.
Hypnosis for self-sabotage can help you to reprogram your mind: turn self-destruction into self-made success and empower yourself instead of limiting yourself.