Being Charismatic

by Bob Walsh

Being charismatic is something that you can learn. Many people think that it is an innate quality, and that you have to look good or be highly intelligent to be charismatic, but reality is different.

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Charisma is a quality that you can cultivate. You can do things that will make you more charismatic, and you can do things that will make you less charismatic.

Take for example body language.

The way you hold yourself determines to a large extend how others perceive you.

If you avoid eye contact, lower your head and stumble around clumsy, do you think that makes you look charismatic?

No.

And how about if you smile, look people straight into their eyes and shake their hand confidently?

Yes, those are basic ingredients of charisma. But there is more to it.

You also need to be relaxed and calm. Because charisma is about channeling your own energy into other people – and if you are tense and stressed out, people will reject you sending them that kind of negative energy.

Be at easy with yourself and the world, calm, relaxed and joyful – and people will always want to have a slice of that cake.

Also, take any way that feels most comfortable to you.

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Most people will respond best if you talk with a steady, clear and determined tone of voice. However, if you don’t feel comfortable talking this way, then don’t try to, but instead find your own pace, and let your language flow in your own rhythm.

When you speak, speak as if you actually believe in what you are saying, and that you have confidence in what you say. A lot of people make a statement, but sound like they are asking a question. That doesn’t instill confidence in others – it instills doubt. And if other people doubt you, being charismatic is a lot more difficult.

Practice as much as you can. Almost everywhere in the world, there are Toastmasters clubs – these are people who practice the art of public speaking. You will always get helpful feedback there on how others perceive you, and what you might do to improve your body language and the way you speak.

And remember: being charismatic is something that comes from the inside. All the external things – body language, tone of voice, and so on – can help you to make a more charismatic impression, but you can’t fake it if you don’t feel charismatic. Work on your self-image, have confidence in your abilities and make sure that you have a good sense of self-esteem.

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Remember what Sarah wrote:

the draw of charismatic people is almost universal. We don’t just like who they are: we like who we are around them. They make us feel important, and yet we are the ones who end up wanting to please.